Chances are, both of you fell short in the basics of quality time, touch, and communication in your last marriage. Lovingness and communication skills tend to deteriorate with satisfaction level.

• Identify faults quickly: The quicker you can identify faults, the quicker you can stop dwelling on them.
• Stop ruminating: The quicker you stop ruminating over wrongdoing, the faster you can forgive both of you. And then, change begins.
• Avoid the most common 2nd marriage error: Re-marrying the same person in an updated, improved, but deceptively similar package. Marrying a sweet alcoholic instead of a mean one would be an example.
• Avoid the 2nd most common error: Being so thrilled to be free from your former spouse’s flaws, you shop for the exact opposite. Your exuberance over receiving exactly what you’ve needed can blind you to the new set of faults in the replacement spouse.

Choosing a new love with your heart and brain is very important, but perhaps more important than not making mistakes is breaking your own bad habits. Unhappiness in a marriage leads to self-indulgence and heightened irritability, which will not be an aphrodisiac or asset in your next relationship. You need time to think between commitments to understand what you want and what you will do differently to achieve success.

14 Relationship Pointers: What To Do and What Not To Do

The “Don’ts”

• Don’t take away the bait. You already know what your spouse likes. What lured them into your marriage is your best tool for keeping them happy. Use it! First of all, they find it tasty. Secondly, it will help keep your mate hooked on you.
• Don’t store resentments and anger generally, and don’t fight at night. Sometimes, the absolute best thing to do with your wrath is give it a nap. Tiredness exacerbates perceived difficulties, heightens aggravation, and can get in the way of a sensible, healthy resolution. In over thirty years of experience as a therapist, I’ve yet to meet the couple that had a knockdown drag-out at 8 AM.
• Don’t overreact. Spouses can temporarily forget how wonderful you are. Be patient, sweet, and confident. Their good senses usually return.
• Don’t whine. This is not communication; it is an irritant.
• Don’t start a conversation with negativity. Avoid phrases like, “The trouble with you…” “I can’t stand it when you…” “You drive me crazy…” etc. Self-righteous, negative beginnings beget rotten endings.
• Don’t say they can’t do what you want them to do. You are being either ridiculously illogical or demotivational.

The “Dos”

• Do know that anger is toxic.
• Do know that conflict resolution should be the endeavor.
• Do make your relationship priority #1. From the first day of the first month, spend at least 20 minutes daily for talk time, and scheduling a weekly date night is a must!
• Do enforce crowd control. There are attention-greedy narcissists out there who will try to take what rightfully belongs to your spouse for himself or herself. When you’re in a happy marriage, be prepared to rebuff attempts – both subtle and otherwise – to divide you.
• Do resolve differences effectively. Sandwich a touchy point with praise. Example: “You know I think you are the greatest and wouldn’t hurt me for the world, but when your friend verbally attacked me, I wish that you had defended me. I know you are on my side and usually have my back.”
• Do remember anger begets anger. Words can be forgiven, but some may be impossible to forget.
• Do know that what you think about your spouse is as important as what you say and do. If you despise, resent, or are contemptuous of your partner, all the communication techniques in the world won’t improve your relationship. If your thoughts are loving, they will sense this and be more relaxed and feel safe, which is a great basis for absorbing the love they are shown.
• Do laugh often, hug, hold hands, and romantically kiss daily. If you aren’t feeling in love at a given moment, keep loving – the in-love feelings often return. Love is an action verb, not just a feeling.

Conclusion

Your second life partner should get even more gratitude and praise than you gave the first. Use your relationship experience to be at the peak of your game as a lover in the larger sense of the word. The second time around is your opportunity to be your best possible version of you.

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The post New Commitment: Upgrade Don’t Replay appeared first on Dr. Janet Page.

Single success starts from within. You cannot choose the right partner or be content and comfortable if you do not know yourself. You also cannot recognize love, or feel loved if you have not expressed the truth of who you are. Single success starts from within.

Secret #1: Know Who You Are

Self-awareness builds confidence and trust. When you understand yourself, you more readily communicate clearly and are more able to attract the right people for you.

Ask yourself:

• Can you describe who you are without hesitation?
• Do you speak openly, or do you filter yourself to please others?
• Are you comfortable being alone with your thoughts?

If you struggle with these, take time to reflect. Practices like quiet time, meditation, journaling, or therapy can help. The more you know yourself, the stronger your presence becomes.

Secret #2: Build Social Capital

Relationships matter. Not just romantic ones, but all connections.

Ask yourself:

• How many people truly know you?
• Who can you call at any time?
• Who do you trust for honest advice?

Strong connections create emotional support and stability. They also reduce stress, increase happiness, and are good for brain health. Keep your anger low and your communication open.

Secret #3: Move Forward on All Fronts

When you grow in multiple areas, you naturally increase self-confidence. This is an important for your sense of self-worth, and is an attract trait. You tend to attract people at your level of self-worth. 

Ask yourself:

• Physical health: Are you eating well and staying active?
• Mental health: Are you managing stress and staying focused?
• Finances: Are you building stability?
• Career or purpose: Are you moving forward?
• Fun: Do you enjoy your life?
• Family and friends: Are you connected?
• Environment: Does your space support your well-being?

You are always a work in progress. Aim high, grow consistently, and create a life that feels complete on its own.

When you do that, relationships become a win-win.

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The post SINGLE SUCCESS: THE 3 TOP SECRETS appeared first on Dr. Janet Page.

Mistakes are not failures—they are valuable lessons. They help shape the awareness needed to build happy, healthy, and lasting relationships.

So where do you start? You start with yourself.

Get to know who you are—both now and in the past. Be honest about your patterns, your strengths, and your shortcomings. Developing a realistic and healthy understanding of yourself and others is essential. Pay attention to how you affect people around you. Be open to feedback from those you trust, and do what you need to do to grieve and heal from past losses and pain.

If a committed relationship is your goal, be sure you are truly ready before you begin. Half-hearted effort often leads to frustration and disappointment. Many people say they want a partner, but act in ways that keep them single—quick to reject, limiting their options, or unwilling to invest the time required. At the same time, choosing to remain single is a valid and respectable option. Relationships require mutual effort, shared time, and compromise.

Before you can find the right person, you need to define what that means to you. The “right person” is not just the best possible match, but someone you are willing to invest in fully—and who is willing to do the same. A strong relationship is built on trust, respect, and consistent effort from both people. It may never be perfectly balanced, but both partners should be equally committed.

Relationships are not something you simply achieve. They require time, effort, communication, and the ability to resolve conflict. The more you experience together, the stronger the connection becomes. Put in the time.

One of my favorite success stories is my daughter’s.

When Tasha decided she was serious about getting married, she fully committed to the process. She stayed consistent with a few key principles: getting out regularly to meet people, keeping an open mind about her “type,” and only dating men who met her standards. We talked often about where she was going, who she was meeting, and what she was learning.

One night, she told me about a man she met while out playing pool. He wasn’t what she expected—different from her usual type. Younger, thoughtful, a bit reserved. She wasn’t sure.

She agreed to a date.

He suggested something simple but unique—bringing items to share and talk about. It created an easy, natural way to connect. She showed up open-minded. He brought something meaningful to him, and the conversation flowed. What stood out most was not just who he was, but how comfortable she felt being herself.

That was the beginning.

They connected in a real way—through curiosity, conversation, and authenticity. What started as something uncertain quickly became something lasting. Today, they are happily together, and it stands as a reminder that the right connection often comes when you stay open and allow things to unfold naturally.

In the end, lasting relationships are not built on perfection. They are built on self-awareness, and a willingness to grow—both individually and together.

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The post Cupid’s Wisdom appeared first on Dr. Janet Page.

Valentine’s Day can be a fun celebration, but one romantic evening does not define your love life. Love is not meant to happen once a year. Whether you are in a relationship or single, this day can serve as a reminder to focus on connection, kindness, and personal growth.

If you are happily dating someone, enjoy the moment and treat your partner with care. If you are single, try not to view the day as a setback. Instead, use it as motivation to create the kind of love you want in your life.

Let Go of Disappointment

Many people feel pressure around Valentine’s Day. Some express love well but struggle with holidays. Others simply communicate differently. Rather than focusing on unmet expectations, choose to release resentment and move forward with a positive mindset.

Reach out to the people you want to keep in your life. A simple message or thoughtful gesture can strengthen important relationships and help you feel more connected right away.

Habits That Make You More Lovable

Healthy relationships often begin with everyday behavior. Small changes can have a big impact:

• Avoid criticizing or looking for flaws in others.
• Manage your own challenges instead of depending on someone else to fix them.
• Stay kind and approachable, even when you feel stressed.
• Laugh often and keep a sense of humor.
• Show appreciation openly and consistently.

These habits make relationships feel safer and more enjoyable.

Simple Ways to Show Love

You do not need grand gestures to show care. Small actions often mean the most:

• Say you’re sorry when needed and forgive without holding grudges.
• Write a short personal note or card.
• Offer helpful acts like running errands or giving a back rub.
• Create phone-free moments for real conversation and eye contact.
• Express affection through thoughtful words or gentle touch.

Keep the Spirit Going Beyond Valentine’s Day

Love grows through consistency. Leave notes, offer compliments, and continue the thoughtful behaviors that make others feel valued. Attraction and kindness matter more over time, not less.

Make a personal commitment to become more loving, patient, and present. You cannot control what others give you, but you can control what you bring to your relationships. When you make love feel easy and genuine, deeper connection becomes possible all year long.

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The post Valentine’s Day appeared first on Dr. Janet Page.

At the same time, communication requires tact and care. Difficult conversations don’t have to damage a relationship. When handled with care, they can strengthen it. The words we choose—and how we deliver them—can either create connection or quietly tear it apart.

1. Never say: “What’s your problem?”
This immediately sounds dismissive and uncaring. A better approach is to ask if something is bothering your partner and let them know you want to help. When people feel invited instead of accused, they’re far more likely to open up.

2. Never say: “You don’t listen to me.”
This turns the conversation into blame. Instead, express that the conversation matters to you and ask for a few minutes of focused attention. Keeping your thoughts clear and concise makes it easier for your partner to truly hear you.

3. Never say: “Calm down.”
This almost guarantees the opposite reaction. When emotions are high, people don’t need orders—they need reassurance. A gentler approach is to acknowledge that something is wrong and express that you care and want to understand.

4. Never say: “You don’t care about my feelings.”
This puts the other person on the defensive. A more effective approach is to explain how a specific behavior made you feel and what you would prefer moving forward. This keeps the focus on understanding, not blame.

5. Never say: “Use your brain” or “Be logical.”
These phrases are patronizing and shut down communication. If things go off track, ask your partner what they heard you say. Clarifying misunderstandings helps rebuild connection instead of escalating conflict.

6. Never use name-calling or character attacks.
Words like “selfish,” “heartless,” or “nag” create distance, not closeness. if anger is rising pause and restate or reschedule the conversation

7. Never use “always” or “never.”
These words erase hope and make change feel pointless. Focus on the present moment. Ask clearly for what you need without dragging the past into the conversation.

Disagreements aren’t the enemy. When handled with respect, they deepen understanding and strengthen connection. Expressing your feelings matters—but how you express them matters just as much. The goal of every conversation, comfortable or uncomfortable, is to move forward with greater understanding and more love.

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The post Connection and Communication appeared first on Dr. Janet Page.

Road rage may seem like a momentary loss of patience, but unmanaged anger rarely stays confined to one situation. Anger management is not about suppressing emotions—it’s about learning self-control before anger spills into other areas of life. When frustration goes unchecked, it often follows us home, into the workplace, and into our closest relationships.

It’s easy to blame traffic, other drivers, or stressful situations for angry reactions. In reality, the trigger is rarely the true cause. Honking, yelling, or reacting aggressively behind the wheel rarely affects the other driver—but it does reinforce a habit of practiced fury. Over time, that habit becomes familiar and automatic.

The real cost of unmanaged anger shows up with the people who matter most. Loved ones, coworkers, and friends remember angry words and emotional outbursts long after the moment passes. Unlike strangers on the road, they feel the impact personally. Anger damages trust, intimacy, and emotional safety.

Therapy provides a space to explore the deeper causes of anger. Often, anger is a surface emotion masking stress, fear, insecurity, or unmet needs. Through therapy, individuals can begin to understand their patterns, learn emotional regulation, and develop healthier responses. Practices such as yoga and meditation can also help calm the nervous system and increase mind clearing before anger escalates.

Healthy relationships require emotional maturity. Yelling, blaming, and character attacks can quickly erode all possibility for connection. Thoughtful communication, accountability, and tact strengthen relationships and foster respect. Learning to pause before reacting is not weakness—it’s emotional intelligence.

Maturity-Level Self-Assessment

Consider the following questions:

Do you…

• Get extremely upset when disappointed, or calmly express sadness and express hope for change ?
• Blame, criticize, and judge, or also take some responsibility?
• Withdraw or stop communicating when upset, or work toward conflict resolution?
• Maintain angry or negative views of others, or keep a positive outlook and give grace?
• Become defensive when hearing feedback, or listen and learn from helpful suggestions?

Answering “yes” to three or more of the first responses—or “no” to four or more of the second—may suggest that insecurity or low self-esteem is interfering with healthy relationship skills. These patterns can be changed. Practicing the healthier responses supports emotional growth, stronger relationships, and overall mental and physical well-being.

Anger can be redirected. With awareness, support, and intentional practice, it can be redirected into more constructive behavior.

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The post Road Rage appeared first on Dr. Janet Page.

If you’re searching for love or trying to keep a relationship healthy, high stress can work against you in powerful ways. When you’re tense, overworked, or emotionally drained, it’s easy to make snap judgments, misinterpret someone’s intentions, or push potential partners away. Stress doesn’t just make relationships harder — it can keep you from having one at all.

Take Teri, for example. She’s a newly divorced, attractive marketing executive who decided she was “back on the hunt.” Between long work hours and constant deadlines, she attended dozens of singles events and went on four dates a week. But she sized up every man within minutes and dismissed anyone who didn’t seem perfect. Her excuse? She was too busy for someone who didn’t have “long-term potential.”

In truth, Teri’s stress level left her too overwhelmed to make room for love. Her fear of failure in relationships was greater than her desire to connect, so she kept finding reasons why no one was right for her. The result was predictable — burnout, frustration, and loneliness.

If you suspect stress might be sabotaging your dating life, take this quick quiz:

Are You Suffering from Dating Stress?

1. Do you feel anxious or tense about dating?
2. Do you discourage others’ efforts to meet you?
3. Do you rarely take breaks from work or dating?
4. Do distractions or worries make dates unenjoyable?
5. Are you stuck saying yes to “dead-end” dates?
6. Has stress affected your sleep, diet, or energy?
7. Do you find yourself judging or criticizing others?
8. Do you question your own lovability or worth?
9. Do you fear that finding love will interfere with your success?

If you answered “yes” to four or more, stress may be standing between you and a healthy relationship. The good news is that this can change.

Start by taking care of yourself. Try relaxation techniques such as meditation, exercise, therapy, or simply spending more time laughing with friends. Make rest and joy a priority. When you manage stress, you’ll find it easier to connect with others, stay open to possibility, and enjoy the process of finding love — not just the outcome.

Because the truth is, love requires space to grow — and stress fills up that space fast.

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The post Your Worst Enemy appeared first on Dr. Janet Page.

Before you can attract or sustain a healthy relationship, you need to start by being your own best friend. That means showing yourself the same patience, kindness, and encouragement you’d give someone you care about deeply. When you nurture your self-esteem and take responsibility for your happiness, you’ll naturally attract partners who reflect that energy back to you.

Here are a few practical ways to strengthen that relationship with yourself — and set the stage for lasting love.

1. Weed Your Garden

If a relationship leaves you feeling drained, unseen, or undervalued, it’s time to prune. A partner should add joy and balance to your life, not diminish it. Don’t be afraid to move on from people who don’t make an effort or whose company doesn’t make you smile. Letting go of “deadwood” makes space for something better to grow.

2. Stop Shopping for Love in the Wrong Places

If you’ve been trying the same dating methods for months with no results, it’s time to change your approach. Whether it’s chasing unavailable partners or staying in relationships that feel more like battlefields, repeating old habits only brings old outcomes. Be brave enough to try something new — and believe that healthy love is possible.

3. Build a Life You Love

You can’t expect love to come knocking if you never leave the house. Go out, meet people, and engage in activities that excite you. Join clubs, take classes, volunteer, or explore new hobbies. The more fulfilled you are in your own life, the more magnetic you become.

4. Be a Great Self-Marketer

Put the same focus into your love life that you would into your career. Know what you want, present your best self, and stay consistent. Show genuine interest and affection in your partner, and don’t take love for granted — it thrives on attention and effort.

5. Keep Things Fresh

Reliability is wonderful, but predictability can kill romance. Surprise your partner. Be playful, curious, and engaged. Whether you’ve been dating for a month or married for years, showing that you still care enough to make an effort keeps love alive.

6. Believe You’re Worth It

Confidence is magnetic. Work on your health, your passions, and your peace of mind — but remember, perfection isn’t required. The goal is to feel good about yourself, not flawless. As the saying goes, “Fake it ‘til you make it” — because positive behavior creates real confidence over time.

When you treat yourself like someone worth loving, you become irresistible — to others and to life itself.

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The post Your Best Friend appeared first on Dr. Janet Page.

Love Basic #1: Share Your Smile

Your smile is your most valuable accessory. It signals friendliness, warmth, and happiness—qualities that make you approachable and attractive. If smiling doesn’t come naturally, practice until it does. Start with small moments and soon it will feel effortless. A genuine smile helps open the door to new relationships.

Love Basic #2: Keep Anger Out of Love

Anger blocks healthy connection. While it’s normal to set boundaries, expressing yourself in a calm, respectful tone is far more effective than criticism or outbursts. If a date is kind to you but rude to others, consider it a warning sign. Healthy love grows in respect, not in anger.

Love Basic #3: Handle Rejection Gracefully

Rejection happens to everyone. Instead of seeing it as failure, view it as protection. When someone moves on quickly, they’ve saved you from wasting time on the wrong match. Thank the experience for freeing you to find someone better suited for you. Moving forward with confidence keeps your heart open to the right opportunities.

Love Basic #4: Dress With Intention

Putting effort into your appearance shows that you value yourself and the people you meet. You don’t need to overdress, but clean, coordinated, and thoughtful clothing communicates that you are ready for connection. Women and men alike notice when someone takes pride in how they present themselves—it sends the message that you care.

Love Basic #5: Adopt a Winning Attitude

Mindset is everything. Visualize success, raise your own happiness level, and approach dating with optimism. Just like athletes prepare for victory, you can prepare for love by staying determined and curious. Keep learning, keep growing, and never stop practicing how to love better.

Love thrives when you bring your best self forward. By focusing on these basics—smile, respect, resilience, appearance, and attitude—you set the stage for meaningful and lasting relationships.

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The post The 5 Love Basics appeared first on Dr. Janet Page.

1. Create Your Own Love Story

Little gestures go a long way in building and growing love. One partner wrote surprise notes and tucked them in unexpected places—a pocket, a mirror, or an email that arrived right on time. These moments didn’t just flatter; they strengthened commitment. Consistent, thoughtful acts—whether words, gestures, or affection—keep the connection alive. Keep your partner’s most loving texts and revisit them when you need a reminder of your bond.

2. Do Things Together

Shared experiences are at the heart of everlasting love. Enjoy activities not just out of necessity but for fun and adventure. Whether you take a class, travel, exercise, or simply cook a meal together, the joy of doing it side by side creates intimacy. What matters most isn’t the activity itself but the connection you strengthen.

3. Share a Calendar

Harmony in daily life supports love. Misunderstandings often stem from simple scheduling conflicts. A shared calendar—digital or on paper—helps avoid unnecessary tension. By respecting each other’s time, you build trust and reduce stress in your relationship.

4. Make Time to Make Love

Physical intimacy is essential for a healthy love. Over time, busy routines can push romance aside. Be intentional about prioritizing closeness—through touch, eye contact, or special moments together. Even small acts of affection create connection, and the more you nurture intimacy, the stronger your desire becomes.

5. Keep Kids Out of the Bed

Protecting private space helps maintain love. While kids may want to join you, your bedroom should be a sanctuary for connection. Setting boundaries allows you to relax, recharge, and nurture intimacy without distractions.

6. Keep Pets Out, Too

Even beloved pets shouldn’t come between you and your partner. If they disrupt closeness—or literally sleep between you—it may be time to create limits. Long lasting love depends on regular connection, and protecting that space matters.

7. Enjoy Every Minute

At its core, lasting love is about presence, honesty, and appreciation. No relationship is perfect, but staying connected and grateful for the love you share creates joy and resilience. The more you invest in connection, the more your love will last.

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