Breaking Up Can Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened
Breaking up—whether it’s divorce, separation, or another kind of loss—can be messy. It’s often wrapped in sadness, anger, grief, and that awful feeling of being knocked off your feet. But here’s the truth: breaking up doesn’t mean you’re broken. It’s actually a chance to upgrade your life, not a life sentence of loneliness.
Just because a judge signed the papers doesn’t mean you’re emotionally free. Breaking up on paper is one thing—letting go emotionally is another. If you hold on to resentment, blame, or bitterness, you end up dragging that emotional baggage into the next chapter, and that’s not where the magic lives.
Even if you weren’t the one who initiated the breakup, there will come a day when you’ll be able to say, “Thank you.” That ending created space for healing, clarity, and eventually, joy—and that’s powerful.
Ready to Love Again? Let’s Find Out.
Ask yourself these questions:
When you think about your ex…
- A. Do you fantasize about throwing darts at his picture?
- B. Still hurting, but trying to redefine what life means for you now?
- C. Pretty neutral, maybe even inching toward forgiveness and focusing on your own future?
How do you think about yourself…
- A. Feeling stuck and full of self-doubt?
- B. Riding emotional waves but generally okay?
- C. Laughing again—even at your own quirks—and feeling more like you?
When you think about future love…
- A. Does the thought of dating make you cringe?
- B. Cautiously curious? Flirting feels kind of fun again?
- C. Excited to meet someone new, with real optimism?
Do you feel love in your life in general?
- A. Not even close—you’re in “everybody stay away” mode?
- B. Noticing people seem more drawn to your energy?
- C. Love feels present again, and it’s flowing outward?
Do you believe you’re lovable?
- A. Not right now—walls are still up?
- B. Getting there?
- C. Yes! And you know you’re more than enough?
Your outlook on men in general?
- A. Distrustful, and warning friends to beware?
- B. Realizing not all relationships are the same?
- C. Feeling hopeful and trusting your own ability to choose better this time?
Now, tally it up.
If most of your answers are A’s or B’s, press pause. Breaking up is a process, and rushing into something new can mean dragging unresolved baggage with you—and possibly attracting someone with a matching set.
But if you’re leaning into B’s and C’s, you’re probably ready to explore again. Reinvent yourself. Choose someone who complements the stronger, wiser version of who you are now.
A few reminders as you move forward:
- Don’t measure your progress by your ex’s. Love isn’t a race.
- Don’t bring an audience to your dates. It’s your heart—trust it.
- Stay open. The right guy might not look like the one you imagined.
- Expect respect from day one. If you don’t feel it, move on quickly.
- And finally—lighten up. Breaking up may have been painful, but finding new love doesn’t have to be. Have fun. Be open. Be you.
Need a little help sorting it all out? Click here to contact my office.
