Psychologist Articles

Change what you want — but do it with love.

It's important to learn how to love your body.

I remember seeing a cartoon titled, "The Difference Between Women and Men," that had a naked man and woman each looking into a full-length mirror.

The woman saw herself as three times bigger while the overweight, balding man saw a chiseled Adonis.

While I know some men are painfully uncomfortable about their looks, being perpetually self-conscious and unduly critical is more often a problem for women.

So, unless you’re one of the very few who are genetically blessed with society’s idea of perfection, you probably exaggerate your flaws

Many women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are judgmental, which may very well be projection.

Meanwhile, men are, of course, just as likely to be grateful. By the time a man sees you naked, he already desires you and is more focused on enjoying than criticizing.

Are wedding bells giving you a headache? Your big day is one day. It’s not forever.

Can we agree that marriage is more important than the wedding? Then now would be a fantastic time to keep a firm hold on perspective. Reaching agreement about your “big day” and the decisions surrounding it helps guarantee memories that will warm both of your hearts.

LESSON TO LEARN BY: Cindy and Mario

Cindy and Mario, are clients of mine who are naturals together - a beautifully suited pair. Their similarities and common interests out weigh their differences. They are loving, sexually compatible, share the same values, and have fun. They had been friends and colleagues for eight years before their romance began. A year later, deciding to marry seemed an obvious and happy conclusion.

True compatibility is the feeling that you have a helpmate – someone who wants to help you reach your goals and develop as a person. And you must respect and be willing to support your mate’s development and goals as well. With such a strong base, staying together becomes relatively easy.

I’m going to let you in on a secret: people without any dreams or aspirations usually aren’t as interesting as those with a sense of purpose. If you’ve ever met someone who has given up wanting anything for his or her future, you know they tend to lack enthusiasm and are not much fun to be around. They lower the energy level in the room and are likely to be relationship challenged as well.

When conditions force you into more alone time, see it as an opportunity.

As important as communication is, without connection — touching, sensing, and giving what you've learned your partner needs — a relationship is less likely to be sustainable.

Connection is an all-important key component to a happy love life and a hot relationship.

Here are 7 ways to keep that connection alive and learn how to have a hot relationship.

1. Keep your mate’s most loving messages and texts on your phone and reread them.

Yes, a fight can actually bring you together.

In a perfect world, couples would never fight. But we don’t live in a perfect world, and people in relationships often feel misunderstood, neglected, insecure, and any number of other emotions that can lead to fights and disagreements.

That doesn’t mean your relationship is headed for doom and gloom, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you're any 'less connected' as a couple.

Fighting, or arguing, can even be healthy for a relationship IF it’s done respectfully and you both come out of it with a better understanding of the other person when the conflict is resolved.