YOUR BRAIN & SEX

YOUR BEST SEX ACCESSORY: USE IT OR LOSE IT

Your brain, not your genitals, keeps sexy thoughts in your memory bank, produces strategies for luring partners, and provides the passion which inspires spontaneity and creativity. Though the brain may not actually be required for sex (as men are accused of, but it applies equally to women), choreography, imagination, knowing what to say and when, and pleasing in the way your lover most enjoys all require thought. Brainless but orgasmic sex is like a massage – great for your circulation and musculature but skin deep. When someone is mindlessly checking off different positions, places, body types, they keep mental checklists and can easily seem impersonal. But when you really focus on the person and the moment, use your perceptivity, connect emotionally and intellectually, and are passionate – it is transforming. Sex is good. Mental connection makes it better. You may not be classically beautiful or handsome, but you can look better, and you can feel and be sexy. And you can have your lover believing that you are both. Confidence is beautiful. By single-minded devotion to making sure that your lover always has a good time and more often than not, an orgasm, you are a good lover. E.G., you are instantly better at oral sex if you don’t let your mind wander. Pay attention. Be there mentally, and the body will follow. Even the least perceptive of partners sense impatience or indifference. On the flip side, when someone seems really interested, you know. Whether kissing or having sex, no matter how little time has gone by, they seem like they could stay there into next week. Pitfalls:

• • Not choosing lovers wisely.

• • Mentally healthy companions should top the must-have traits list.

• • Not being a responsible grown-up in charge of love and life.

• • Not being guided by heart and brain in relationships you keep.

• • Justifying a bad relationship because you are still getting good sex.

• • Self-rudeness – leaving a mirror without something nice to say.

• • Pessimism – this is training to be that cranky old person who drives away joy.

• • Bad attitude about sexiness: full of life and fun at every age. [1]

Action Plan:

• • Leave the herd.

• • Being original and genuine makes you more lovable.

• • Set up desirable, sustainable habits that will become second nature.

• • Acknowledge that you are too wise to hope – desire, expect, and take some action.

• • Always continue to build your EQ, emotional intelligence.

• • Realize that character assassination is not good foreplay.

• • Whine no more – keep all remarks and thoughts favorable and kind.

• • Don’t do or say what you will regret and then stop regretting.

• • Believe that sexy is as sexy feels and does.

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